12 Phrases That Kill Your Boundaries

(And What To Say Instead)

By Rachel Park

You feel your heartbeat rising, palms sweaty.

Conversations so uncomfortable that
you don’t know how else to start but with a “Sorry”

But setting boundaries is like going to the gym. It’s developed through the daily practices that build your muscles.

1. Shows professionalism without diminishing your time
   ❌ “Sorry, I can’t help right now”
   ✅ “My calendar is at capacity for the moment”
2. Validates your right to set limits
   ❌ “I feel bad saying no”
   ✅ “I need to decline to honour existing commitments”
3. Owns your right to raise concerns
   ❌ “Maybe I’m being too sensitive”
   ✅ “This is important to address”
4. Focuses on growth rather than guilt
   ❌ “I should have done better”
   ✅ “Here’s what I learned and my next steps”
5. Positions your view with confidence and evidence
   ❌ “I might be wrong, but…”
   ✅ “Here’s my perspective based on [X]”
6. Demonstrates self-awareness and solution-focus
   ❌ “I should be able to handle this”
   ✅ “I need support with [specific task]”
7. Sets clear expectations and timeline
   ❌ “I’ll try to get it done”
   ✅ “I can deliver this by [realistic date]”
8. Establishes professional standards
   ❌ “I know this is last minute…”
   ✅ “To deliver my best work, I need [X] days notice”
9. Promotes open dialogue about workload
   ❌ “Don’t worry about me”
   ✅ “Let’s discuss a sustainable approach”
10. Prevents overcommitment and builds team accountability
    ❌ “I’ll just do it myself”
    ✅ “Let’s clarify team responsibilities”
11. Shows respect for both parties’ time
    ❌ “Whatever works for you”
    ✅ “Here are the times that work best”
12. Initiates constructive problem-solving
    ❌ “I’ll make it work somehow”
    ✅ “Let’s review priorities and resources needed”

Your boundaries aren’t negotiable. They’re the foundation of your success 💫

What phrase will you start using today? Share below 👇

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